Trackside Tales, January- April 2009                                                                                          Back to Archives

Unusual Ways To Get Injured- Mind Those Arms

Following on from our webman's over exuberant football celebrations, another cautionary tale follows. Being relieved from his workplace for four days this Easter, young Stuart again decided to frequent East Kilbride's places of evening leisure. The town's latest place to be seen is "Downtown", inappropriately named since one actually has to ascend a flight of stairs to enter successfully. This mission accomplished, Mr G's evening had a Whitemoss theme. Late into the evening while, let us say, appreciating the atmosphere, re-acquaintance was made with Gary "Jambo" Mackay who's absence from the competitive scene was explained by the previous performance of a dance of some kind which saw him strain muscles in both arms. Being a javelin thrower, arm injuries can put some limitations on your competing capabilities. Alas the man with football leanings towards Heart of Midlothian is still rehabilitating. Other throwing specialists be warned. As night became early morning, a meeting in the same premises, where What Everyone Wants once stood (ask your parents children), was also encountered with John Robertson. Surprise at his presence was alleviated when the Johnster gave the innocent explanation that he had simply acquired part time employment glass collecting. In the more familiar trackside surroundings recently, our website man learned that Vicky Mackie, forever teasing us with non-fulfilled comeback threats, was spotted in this venue on later evenings during the holiday weekend. The Insider would never associate himself with such nocturnal activities. An hour's sleep before midnight is worth two after I say.

Athlete Turned Footballer

Picking up the theme of previous tales (see The Archives), this column has previously reported on the exploits of Ainsley Douglas, once of this institution, in the world of the round ball game Scots proclaim as the national sport. Reports filter through of the young lady gracing the Scottish dark blue with as much aplomb as she performed with in the Whitemoss equivalent. The latest honour entails selection to play in the Emarald Isle against Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland and Wales. Past accolades included participation in the International Children's Games in Iceland. The Insider raises his bowler hat in admiration.

Too Senior for This Award

It gladdened the cockles of The Insider's heart no end to learn of Whitemoss' trophy success at the East Kilbride Sports Council Awards Evening. The club in fact featured twice on the evening. Imagine your columnist's astonishment, on perusing the local publication over his evening Nambarrie tea brew, to observe junior male sports personality was none other than "Euan McMurtrie." Surely some mistake? Our recently departed secretary of some half a decade's service is  a little too senior for such an accolade. Accompanying jaffa cake then almost found itself within the mug to read the prize was presented for accomplishments in both athletics and handball. To the writer's knowledge, Yo Yo Mac previously had a fledgling football career (he once hit the bar for a certain Glasgow club but in a rather different manner to Messrs Ferguson and McGregor- see Athlete Profiles) but has no recent track record in either named sport. Often it is best to see the accompanying photos simultaneously which cleared the confusion. Said Mr McMurtrie is in fact Euan Senior's teenage son. For the second time in two tales, The Insider raises his hat to a fine achievement. Considering the success of older sibling Nicky, there is clearly a sporting gene being inherited somewhere.

Leg-ends Update

Much has been developing in the world of the Whitemoss Leg-ends. Perhaps the time is ripe to round up happenings. Starting with the youthful third, Mr Potts has had the disappointing news his knee is separating. Consequently, a knee replacement is required. If he did not have so much bad luck, what would he possess? Sadly for him, in the daytime television stakes, The Jeremy Kyle Show is being scrapped...

Moving on to the most recent Hall of Fame inductee, "ceasar" (Frank) is still having to frequent the operating table but is happily still sighted in Whitemoss circles despite being officially retired. He will have a committee position soon unless he watches his step.

Moving onwards, the outlook is bright for the teamshouteroaner (Robert). Not only is the prognosis clear, the cheery painter harbours ambitions of returning to the coalface post Easter. His concern centres around whether he has a business to return to. In saying that, the clubhouse could be doing with a lick of paint here and there.

Coming of Age

West of Scotland public house owners should be aware from now on as The Insider is reliably informed of a young Whitemossonian successfully attaining the legal age. Reports indicate that during a recent club outing to "Laser Quest," the evening concluded for young Lorraine Boyd with a birthday cake presentation. Her frequency of participation in the 2008 National Junior League in comparison to her teamates lead to the renaming of this series of fixtures in the club's circles as "The Lorraine League" much to the subject's annoyance. Whether Miss Boyd also now has the necessary qualifications as yet to take an automobile onto the country's roads remains unconfirmed. Furthermore, it remains to be seen whether she avails herself of offers to attend future coach and committee gatherings in the Montgomerie Arms as she is now entitled to do.

 

Above- freshly turned 18 year old Lorraine Boyd

And You Thought He Was Away Training

All has been quiet on the website front in recent times with the webman taking himself off with two companions for some alleged warm weather training in the secluded Algarve resort of Falesia, equidistant between the somewhat sprightlier spots of Albufiera and Vilamoura. Participation is in a camp organised by 2:09 Events Limited with Mike Gratton in charge, a London Marathon winner in the days when British athletes won those kind of things. The Insider is assured there was very little after hour revelry, being tucked up in bed with a good book and warm drink being the general rule. The following image was clearly a minor lapse in that arrangement.

Not Always Good To Be Early

The Scottish Age Group Championships are no doubt documented elsewhere by our webman. He may not have reported happenings at the conclusion. Track proceedings happily concluded ahead of time prompted Stuart to don his anorak and backpack to go homeward bound. One hitch. He had enjoyed the hospitality of Stato who had graciously driven him to the International Sports Arena that day. Imagine the dismay to learn one field event had yet to commence which was likely to occupy another hour. No prospect of travelling with "Oor Wullie" Sutherland or Mark either who were both also required by the sandpit. An extensive day had become somewhat longer...

Closer than brothers- Mark and Willie on an earlier officiating assignment

Baby Come Back

Long serving readers of this column will recollect my musings some time ago about Vicky, the younger of the Mackie sisters, Debbie of course still being a regular around the club scene (possibly a double meaning there). A search through the tales archives will uncover firstly a prediction of a dazzling comeback in summer 2008 then a further update blowing this out of the water for the time being. Being true to my word, my sources' ears have been firmly to the ground and the word on the street is a return may be more than a fleeting notion. News has filtered through of a sighting around the portacabin, on a training evening no less, of the said Miss Mackie albeit sporting a darker haired complexion. The Insider has recruited reinforcements to report on this breaking story.

Unusual Ways to get Injured- Mind That Hazard

A few in Whitemoss circles will have an idea of where the website man's football affections lie, namely, the  first Glasgow side to play in hoops. Some will also have got wind of said club securing a rather lucrative little cup match against the city's other hooped team based in the East End. Word has it, when attending the game at Hampden which secured this prize, the normally reserved, mellow young chap was considerably more animated. So much so, when the ball squeezed between the two posts for the decisive goal, the man with the bank books bounded upwards from a seated position so exuberantly, he gave both his legs a hefty whack against the plastic seat in front. His jubilation continued despite the searing pain and blood loss. A week and a half on, the cuts are gradually fading.

Oor Whitemoss Wullie- On his birth-dee, a public house was not the place to be

Whitemoss resident mischief maker, Oor Wullie Sutherland (see previous Tale below) recently had the pleasure, or misfortune depending on your outlook, of marking a half century of service on earth. The Insider's eagle eye was upon him to pounce on any acts of over indulgence. Alas, disappointment was to follow tempered by admiration. Your columnist can reveal that Oor Wullie in fact passed the evening in question putting the club's more endurance minded personnel through their paces in blizzard like conditions. Whatever his choice of tipple as the night progressed, every last drop was merited.

Guard The Treasure

It would be remiss for my good self to suggest our treasurer was anything other than competent in the duties bestowed on him. However, the Insider has learned, strictly off the record, of an omission which saw poor Stuart break out in something of a sweat. Few would have the patience to count up 3 figure sums worth of coins before updating the club's financial records on a weekly basis. Engaged in this task, the fledgling young legal eagle was drawn to entries showing payment to "Perkins Slade Insurance" in previous Januarys. Curious if this was a matter to which he should be attending, a search through his blue paperwork holdall, a regular accompanient on visits trackside, disclosed this related to the Whitemoss portacabin insurance policy which had expired 4 days earlier.  A desparate phone call during working hours rectified the situation not before the single grey hair on his head had acquired some companions due to the stress.

Oor Wullie, The Whitemoss Version

It is somewhat appropriate that the dawning of a new calendar year sees a fresh victim take a bow in this column. The Oor Wullie spreading mischief is not the Auchenshoogle residing, dungaree wearing, bucket sitting scamp of Sunday Post acclaim but the relatively new Whitemoss trainer Willie Sutherland

Word reaches the Insider of mischief spreading on the part of the said Mr Sutherland prior to the latest indoor competition, the club's 2009 curtain raiser. Quizzed in good faith by a young athlete as to what lay in store for them over the ensuing 4 hours, Oor Wullie opined "the same as last time." This prompted a protest that the member in question had not been in attendance on that occasion which received the reply, with a wry smile, "well for you it's the 3000m steeplechase followed by the pole vault." Cue an exasperated look before the genuine answer was unveiled.

The Insider understands that Allan Boyd was partner in crime unhatching the plot, Fat Boab, Soapy and Wee Eck being otherwise engaged. Wait until Ma and Pa hear!!

A wee scamp