Trackside Tales, May-October 2009                                                                                          Back to Archives

G'day Mate

Travelling Whitemossonians Part 65- it would appear that Team McEwan may be qualifying for some air miles if tales of their experiences are anything to go by. Craig McEwan will certainly have seen little of his parents this year as, no sooner had he flown into these shores from China then mother and father promptly headed in the direction from whence he came, carrying on however to the Oceania region, Australia to be precise. My sources confirm that Iain Senior and Anne have been participating in the World Masters Athletics Championship, a fact going some way to explaining their recent sightings trackside in training mode. One suspects this epistle shall not be the last on the subject.

Tales of The Dance Part 1- Do Not Sacrifice The Day Job

Following a barren spell, your columnist is now awash with material with the 2009 Shindig having come and gone. As always, the main focus of the evening was to recognise the efforts of the athletes over the previous year. Microphone duties were rationed between at least four willing volunteers, no mean feat since addressing a crowded gathering is not always as simple as it appears. Our webmaster probably wishes now he had taken a backseat. A golden rule to be observed is, whatever else transpires around you, come hell or high water, do not lose your audience. The Insider would never suggest for one moment that this occurred but he understands that the proposed second career in after dinner speaking has been firmly shelved. 

Tales of the Dance Part 2- Globetrotters

The latest epistle, just like all good athletes, doubles up, also serving as Travelling Whitemossonians Part 50.5 with an all star cast. We commence with an update on Craig McEwan (see Travelling Whitemossonians Part 32 below). It had previously been rumoured, with occupational duties complied with, Craig would be "wandering around China for a bit." Clearly worn out after a fortnight of this,his return was pencilled in for the evening of the aforementioned Shindig. Clan McEwan made a sharper exit than normal to greet him, nothing to do with the webmaster's speech we are sure. Next in line, Edinburgh based Lorraine Boyd disclosed that elder sibling David is France bound on a university exchange scheme. Another one going to remarkable lengths to avoid being roped...apologies, asked to perform club duties. Finally, Frank Smith's honorary membership means the full trio of Whitemoss Leg-ends (Alan Potts, Frank and Robert Leggate) find themselves inducted in the Hall of Fame. Mr Leggate alas was not present on the evening but is happily in far ruder health if reports of his recent foreign break trotting around Eastern Europe are anything to go by.

The Credit Crunches Hard

While the last edition of the Central and South of Scotland league sadly saw Whitemoss demoted from division one, there were some light hearted moments at Wishaw. Proceedings commenced with a combined senior and veteran 3000m with Martin Duthie, an athlete with our good friends at Calderglen Harriers, filling the role manfully. His number showed the letter "M" denoting he was participating in the more experienced age category, "M" standing for the rather irritating Americanised term Masters. Certainly vest numbers were in short supply on the day as at least one athlete, clearly considerably younger than this age range, was later seen sporting the same one later followed by 15 year old Euan Walker. On the last occasion The Insider consulted the rule book, the Masters minimum age had been lowered but it did not yet capture teenagers. The sight of Euan prompted one officiating observer to comment that perhaps the vest was being shared around as well as the rogue number. One does not need an economics degree to know financial times are tough but a single vest between three surely takes the biscuit. Either that or the credit is crunching harder than one originally anticipated.

A Man For All Events

One must be careful of what is said when the Insider's roving reporters are circulating trackside. Assistant combined events coach Kate Gemmell reportedly let slip to one of my sources of son Jamie's eligibility for the 2010 edition of the Scottish Mens League. Being an all rounder, this is a snippet Mr Keith Stoddart will no doubt avoid letting slip by. Having shown ability thus far to cope with up to 5 different disciplines in the space of an afternoon, do not be surprised to see this attempted with the younger Gemmell in the Mens arena, provided there is a loophole which permits such activity...or even if there is not.

Where's Oor Wullie?

Perhaps it can be put down to his lovelorn state of mind (see above) but our webman almost inadvertently dropped Oor Wullie Sutherland into some soapy bubble. My sources advise that Stuart posted a relatively innocent comment indicating the existence of some footage of the Scottish Senior Championships starring some Whitemoss personnel, citing Willie as one such cast member. He was soon corrected by club athlete/team manager/official/coach/general good guy Mark Stringer that Mr Sutherland was indeed not present at Pitreavie on the day in question, the multimedia footage simply showing a deadpan lookalike. If he was out of the house at this time, she who must be obeyed may be seeking an explanation. Run for cover webman.

More Chinese Whispers

Globetrotting Whitemossonians Part 32: Since re-entering the Mens League fray in 2003, one of the weaknesses in Whitemoss' armoury has been in the throws department. It has therefore been most welcoming to see 1990s club stalwart Michael Brennan again don the blue, green and white. Encouraged by two successful appearances in 2009 where he has taken on every throw event, Michael has declared an intent to "give up the fags" and seriously train once more. His presence though will be missed at this year's 4th and final outing at Grangemouth as  he is bound for the same Asian territory as Craig McEwan, to teach English as a foreign language for 9 weeks. Some people simply call off sighting work or personal commitments. Others will go to just about any lengths to avoid the Grangemouth smog.

Above: Michael Brennan during his first spell at Whitemoss.

Chinese Whispers

Globetrotting Whitemossonians Part 31: Word filters to the Insider's ears of Scottish Combined Events champion Craig McEwan extending his horizons to a distant corner of the globe. While your columnist's experience of China is no more extensive than digesting a weekly takeaway, Craig has taken the proverbial bull by the horns to sample the People's Republic himself. Is he bathing in Beijing or sightseeing in Shanghai? Watch this space.

Thin Numbers

The title can amply sum up the Whitemoss team present at the second Mens League match. The out of character Scottish heatwave led some club personnel, who shall remain nameless, to consider soaking up the alpha rays was preferable to slogging it out in the Grangemouth smog. Our role call can be appropriately termed the Magnificent Seven- the webman, John "Johnster" Robertson, Mark "Marky Boy" Stringer (competing on this occasion), Alistair Campbell, Zach "Billy Whizz" Bryson, Keith "Mao Tse Tsung" Stoddart and a welcome return for a stalwart of yesteryear, Michael Brennan. Even including the Whitemossonians officiating, Steven "Stato" Whyteside, Mary Brennan and Oor Wullie Sutherland, it was still one person shy of being a Whitemoss Eleven. The Insider can only hope such a paltry gathering is a one off happening and not an indication of times to come. As for the ten, can anyone think of an appropriate name for them collectively?

Temporary Sabbatical

With our webman taking a temporary transatlantic excursion Stateside to discover if the American dream is a reality, your columnist has also been granted a period of summer leave. So for now, the Insider shall now place pen back in ink well and top up his creative juices while taking in the views from his Madeira timeshare. For the moment, it is adios amigos.

Pigs Will Fly

Further to the musings below, my undercover agent reports that Oor Wullie Sutherland and company did indeed manage to handle the take offs of a long jump variety with the efficiency in which Terminal 5  controls aeroplanes. Willie had the considerable fortune of being featured in the accompanying photo for Scottish Athletics' leading article, casually observing a long jumper in mid-air flight. Such rumblings did this generate that said image was, to use the technical term, downloaded for display within the portacabin. One cruel menace saw fit to pen a caption featuring the female field eventer opining "can you smell something?" The same practical joker carried on to pin an imaginary tail on the innocent Willie with an "oink oink" speech bubble. Such is the sharp wit of Willie it is a matter of time before revenge is enjoyed in the manner of the dungaree wearing Sunday Post  hero of similar name.

I Can't Dance

A strong Whtemoss presence was observed at the debut of the Scottish Inter Regional Championships on the calendar. Webmaster Stuart found himself an unlikely selection in the West Coast team, a rare chance to rub shoulders with Scottish Athletics' great and good. Pitched into the 3000m steeplechase, the webman had a generally fulfilling experience, a personal best making the water jump drenching worthwhile. One complaint from him concerned the piped music while competing which he considered a tad inappropriate. While in no doubt there is a "time to burn" as the dance beat asserted, in Stuart's view, while negotiating 35 barriers, each one metre high, was not it. He compared the experience to running in a nightclub. While the Insider is not one to frequent such establishments, discotheques boasting a 400m synthetic track for the patrons' use do not readily spring to mind.

Bring Your Sleeping Bags

Whitemoss all rounder Mark Stringer is presently making strides towards co-ordinating the club place in the annual 24 hour Relay for Life in aid of Cancer Research. Should he decide to cover the entire period, he has the opportunity of a dress rehearsal at the inaugaral under 13 "Superteam" championships at Wishaw. 62 teams of 4 children are in line to cover four events, two each of track and field, over the course of a single day in North Lanarkshire's metropolis. One need not have a mathematics masters degree to calculate this is shaping up to be a rather monumental task for Mark, Oor Wullie Sutherland and the other volunteers assigned for duty. Four long jump heats of 62 athletes each promises to be quite a spectacle. One cruel observer has suggested that the helpers bring blankets, pyjamas and stories for the many children potentially being outdoors beyond their bedtime. Willie is already boasting that he shall be handling more take offs than Heathrow's Terminal 5. The Insider shall be delegating his finest undercover agent to ascertain how proceedings develop.

Have Your Say

The occasionally recurring "will Vicky Mackie return to Whitemoss" debate rears its head once more. While no longer partaking in secretarial duties, Euan "Yo Yo Mac" McMurtrie continues to deliver Whitemoss sterling service, keeping this burning issue in focus by commencing a discussion on the general discussion forum. Log in or sign on and give your forthright opinions. Some already have.